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Natsu Dragneel Roleplay » Design » Create: Magic » Approved Magic » Steel Tempest(Slyvia Makishima's Magic)

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1Steel Tempest(Slyvia Makishima's Magic) Empty Steel Tempest(Slyvia Makishima's Magic) Wed Jan 28, 2015 8:33 am

Sylvia Makishima

Sylvia Makishima
Name: Blighted Quiver
Rank: D-Rank
Magic Cost: 10(5)
Requirements: Steel Tempest
Class: Supplementary
Element: Wind
Cooldown: sustained(2)
Duration: Mark lasts for 2 posts(Spell Lasts for 4 posts)
Effect: The Caster wraps its sword with wind and every time the caster hits a target, the caster would automatically mark the target with the Crest of the wind anywhere on their body(Max stacks 3) and it doesn't deal any damage, it has a size of a Tennis Ball and disappeares withing 5 meters away from the caster.

Wind Crest:

Name: Sweeping Blade
Rank: D-Rank
Magic Cost: 10
Requirements: Steel Tempest
Class: Offensive
Element: Wind
Cooldown: 2 posts
Duration: Instant
Effect: The Caster would dash at the target at the same time drawing the caster's sword unleashing a whirlwind wherever the Caster stops(Dash Range 5 Meter with the speed of 5 m/s) Airborne about 5 meters and deals D-rank Damage, Caster's dash can be stopped by a D-rank barrier and above, any weight over 150lbs cannot be knocked up into the air.

Sweeping Blade:

Name: Transcendent Blades
Rank: D-Rank
Magic Cost: 10
Requirements: Steel Tempest
Class: Offensive
Element: Wind
Cooldown: 2 posts
Duration: Instant
Effect: The Caster creates A single solid sword just like a normal object with wind magic. The Caster sends the swords in a straight line about 5 meters with the speed of 5 m/s and if it hits the target it would vanish and cause bruises, The Swords can be blocked by D-Rank Barriers and can be parried and deals D-rank damage.

Name: Dredge Line
Rank: D-Rank
Magic Cost: 10
Requirements: Steel Tempest
Class: Offensive
Element: Wind
Cooldown: 2 posts
Duration: Instant
Effect: The Caster Unleashes a whirlwind with a speed of 5 m/s and a range of 5 meters in a straight line as it draws its weapon the same time swinging it blowing away any projectiles(Except for C-rank and above projectiles), Magic infused Projectiles(Except for C-rank and above C-rank and above), It deals D-rank Damage and can be blocked by D-rank Shields and Barriers.

Dedge Line:

Name: Broken Wings
Rank: C-Rank
Magic Cost: 20(10)
Requirements: Steel Tempest(Blighted Quiver)
Class: Offensive
Element: Wind
Cooldown: 4 posts
Duration: Instant(2)
Effect: The Caster dashes around the Target based on how many stacks of 'Blighted Quiver' the target has, 1 stack = one dash = 1/3 C-rank damage, 2 stacks = 2 dashes 2/3 = C-rank Damage, max/3 stacks = 3 dashes = Full C-rank Damage, can be stopped by C-rank barriers and above



Last edited by Sylvia Makishima on Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:00 am; edited 12 times in total

Elizabeth Silvershield

Elizabeth Silvershield
Sylvia Makishima wrote:Name: Blighted Quiver
Rank: D-Rank
Magic Cost: 5 mana each post The cost of D Ranked spells is 10
Requirements: Steel Tempest
Class: Offensive
Element: Wind
Cooldown: 2 Posts
Duration: 5 posts If the duration lasts longer than 1 post, make the spell sustained, and put between brackets the maximum duration the spell can go on for. Considering that you are a D Ranked, the max. amount of time your spell can go on for is 2 posts. Also, mention in the Magic costs that it costs 5 MP to sustain per post.
Effect: The Caster wraps its sword with wind and every time the caster hits a target, the caster would automatically mark the target with the Crest of the wind(4 Max) when hit and would cause minor bruises Each time the target is marked, he will recieve 1/4 D Ranked damage. If he is hit 4 times with this spell, he will recieve D Ranked damage.

Name: Sweeping Blade
Rank: D-Rank
Magic Cost: 25 It's 10.
Requirements: Steel Tempest
Class: Offensive
Element: Wind
Cooldown: 4 posts You can lower the cooldown to 2
Duration: Instant
Effect: The Caster would dash at the target at the same time the Caster would draw its weapon unleashing a whirlwind around the caster that would make the target within 2 meters Airborne
You can increase the range to 5 meters. State the size and speed of the whirlwind, and that it deals D Ranked damage upon impact.

Name: Transcendent Blades
Rank: D-Rank
Magic Cost: 30 10
Requirements: Steel Tempest
Class: Offensive
Element: Wind
Cooldown: 2 posts
Duration: Instant
Effect: The Caster creates Two identical swords with wind magic. The Caster sends the swords in a straight line and if it hits the target it would vanish and cause bruises. State the range and speed. The damage one blade deals upon impact would be equal to 1/2 D Ranked damage.

Name: Dredge Line
Rank: D-Rank
Magic Cost: 15 10
Requirements: Steel Tempest
Class: Offensive
Element: Wind
Cooldown: 3 posts You can lower it to 2.
Duration: Instant
Effect: The Caster Unleashes a whirlwind in a straight line as it draws its weapon the same time swinging it blowing away any projectiles and Projectiles infused with magic(Cant blow away Projectiles infused with C rank magic and above)  except for Projectiles made from any kinds of Magic, It causes bruises when the Whirlwind hits the target You'd be able to blow away any magical and non-magical projectiles. State the range and the speed.

Name: Broken Wings
Rank: C-Rank
Magic Cost: 25 20
Requirements:
Class: Offensive
Element: Wind
Cooldown: 3 posts 4 Posts.
Duration: Instant
Effect: The Caster dashes around the Target three times, after the caster finishes dashing around the Target the Air created from the Caster's weapon will hit the target at the same time on three different directions causing Bruises around the target. If the Target is marked with 'Blighted Quiver' the target will get minor wounds.
Remove what I colored in Pink. State that it deals C Ranked damage if the target is hit by all three sides.

My comments are in Crimson.

Bump upon completion.

Sylvia Makishima

Sylvia Makishima
Bump.

1st D-rank Skill: Edited, its kinda unfair if the target only receives 1/4 D-rank damage since the target can dodge the caster's attacks, if the Target manages to dodge up to 2 posts the Stack of Blighted Quiver will disappear so I didnt changed it to receiving 1/4 D-Rank damage, just plain minor bruise.
2nd D-rank Skill: Edited.
3rd D-rank Skill: Edited, Though I didnt put that the target would receive 1/2 D-rank damage since the target could dodge, block or parry it
4th D-rank Spell: Edited.
1st C-rank Spell: Edited, target would suffer C rank damage when the target has a max stack of Blighted Quiver.

Elizabeth Silvershield

Elizabeth Silvershield
Explaining:

Grading:

Once again, comments are in Crimson

Bump once corrected.

Sylvia Makishima

Sylvia Makishima
1st Spell: Edited, Changed to supplementary, no damage done and give the target 1 stack of Blighted Quiver when hit. Changed 5 to 10(5) mana cost, changed 2 to Sustained(2)
2nd Spell: Edited, Caster Dashes to a target unleashing a whirlwind, Unleashing it on the Caster itself so it doesnt move, just Putting them on airborne
3rd Spell: Edited, Changed to a single sword
4th Spell: Edited.
5th Spell: Edited, Did not remove Blighted Quiver, Deals D-rank damage if target doesnt have any Stacks of Blighted Quiver, Deals 1/4 C-rank Damage if target has 1 Stack of Blighted Quiver 1/4 + 1/4 + 1/4 + 1/4 = Full C-Rank Damage

Aoi Mitsurugi

Aoi Mitsurugi
For the purpose of this grading, I want to use the quoting method and give a bit o an explanation to things, though normally I don't do this, I think this may help a little more in this case. Elizabeth has given permission to let me take over, so from now on I'll be looking this over unless she or someone else feels the need to. All of my noted texts will be in purple and my edits to be made will be in orange.

Spoiler:

Sorry for the overboard of commentary, I wanted to be thorough for you to help explain. Please bump when edited~

Sylvia Makishima

Sylvia Makishima
1st Spell: Edited. Included a Picture
2nd Spell: Edited. Included a Picture.
3rd Spell: Edited.
4th Spell: Edited. Included a Picture and applied logic XD
5th Spell: Edited.

Aoi Mitsurugi

Aoi Mitsurugi
This one will be easier to grade now.

Spell 1: Approved

Spell 2: Include that any weight over 150 lbs cannot be knocked into the air.

Spell 3: Approved

Spell 4: Note that D rank spells that count as projectiles will stop this spell.

Spell 5: This spell is doing multiple hits of multiple ranks in which case is not allowed. Simply remove the base D rank damage and change it to that you dash, strike a target, and deal damage based on the blighted quiver stacks.

Bump when edited.

Sylvia Makishima

Sylvia Makishima
Edited :3 Bump.

Aoi Mitsurugi

Aoi Mitsurugi
Alrighty, thank you and all are approved =3

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